HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLER!!

I am so sad you are growing so fast and getting so big but I am excited to see the man you will become! It seems like just yesterday that they put you in my arms for the first time. I remember looking at you and saying. "Ryan, look! He has red hair!" And since then I don't know how many times I have heard women say, "Do you know how much women pay for hair that color" or "if only we could bottle that color!" LOL You have said so many funny things over the years and you just make me giggle! Like the time you got the bubble wrap and you told me you were going to take a bubble bath. Or the time you told me hippies were extinct. Oh! You have quite the "make believe" bone in your little body! I love how you still need your mommy and cling to me as long as you can, til the very last second, when I take you to preschool or primary. I will miss you so much when you start kindergarten in the fall! I love how you have always been my boy and hope you always will be! I love you sweetie! I hope you have a WONDERFUL birthday!

Kyler's 5th birthday and cake...

Kyler's birthday isn't actually til the 28th but his party was tonight so here are all the pics of his cake, presents and him! :) The cake was a pain to make, especially when I couldn't get one the cakes out of the pan. I ended up baking 4 cakes and 24 cupcakes. I made the cupcakes to resemble the clover that Horton hold in his trunk. Horton, himself, consists of 3 cakes to start out with. Then you have to trim and shape him and so I have a lot of pieces of cake laying around! It seems like an awful lot of work (4 hours) for it to just be destroyed and served! But I know Kyler appreciated it and loved it! This will probably be his last big family party since he starts school this fall. We will be moving on to a family party with just us and then a friend party. So, Thanks to all who came and for the presents.

Kamdyn's 1st haircut

Kamdyn's hair was getting a little long on top and too long to spike up so I decided I would give him a haircut...BAD IDEA!!! He was so ticked afterwards that I forgot to even get an after pic so I wil l have to get one later. He was not happy about it at all! POOR KID!! Needless to say, I gave up...just got the top trimmed...nothing else!(These pics are all before and during...)

Easter and Kamdyn's 10 month page....

We just did the usual at our house for Easter this year. We Dyed Easter eggs and we ate dinner with my side of the family at my house. We did eggs and I decided to get a lil creative and we got out the acrylic paints to paint our eggs. This one is mine. I know not great but, hey, I had fun!


The kids got camel bak water bottles and candy from the Easter bunny except for Kam. He got a sigg pooh one that is way cute! He must have known how sick and tired I was of all the cheap, junky ones that the kids collect and are laying around the house! I am glad to be rid of them! Then we gave them church outfits and a couple of summer outfits.

One of these days Keaton won't cry when it comes to taking pictures!!


And here is Kamdyn's 10 month page. I can't believe he is this big already! :(

Prince Charming and his 3 princesses...

Kyler got to be one of the crown bearers for Kaycee and Kaitlin's jr. prom and I got to do Kaycee, Kaitlin, and KyLeigh's hair. I wanted to do Kaycee's hair up...but she told me no so I had to leave it down. :( Kaycee got 2nd attendant so that was awesome and they all looked BEAUTIFUL!!

KyLeigh:

Kaitlin:

Kaycee

Two years ago...

A little piece of me died.......Two years ago my world fell apart for a while....Two years ago I felt the worst pain ever.... Two years ago my baby girl went to heaven.....

Two years ago was the worst pain I have ever felt. I know you have all heard the story so I won't repeat it and I debated whether posting this or not because I didn't want people to think "Oh here we go again." But I need to post it for me. I need to mourn her this day. There is no way I could get through this day without thinking of her and I need to write my feelings out. If you don't want to read it then that is fine but I need to vent. This is the only picture I have of my baby girl and it is when she was still alive and well.

Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for the children we have and very grateful for Kamdyn and that we were able to have another baby after losing Lilly. But she was my child too and I REFUSE to forget her. I never held her but I felt her. She grew under my heart for 19 weeks and I loved her so much already. I know there is a plan and if i do everything I need to, I WILL see her again, but it seems like such a long time until I really get to meet her and get to know her.

I am going to the Bokay today and getting me some Lillies to honor her. Maybe I will post a picture of those later. I am trying to be strong today. You would think after two years it wouldn't hurt this bad still, but on certain days it does.

I am so thankful for those who have been here with me along the way when I needed someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on!!

Mac and cheese....

When we were in Rock Springs for MaShayla's basketball tournament, we went and ate lunch at Winger's and this was the kid's menu and game sheet. Kyler was just drawing lines in these boxes (that's why some of them have extra lines in them, he was drawing those before he knoew what he was suppose to do.)and then asked MaShayla what you were suppose to do with this game. She told him that you were suppse to find the picture on the wheel that was to the side and then put the letter that matched underneathe the picture. So he sat and did it all by himself! I didn't even know he was doing it until he said, "There! I'm done!" I thought he wrote pretty good and nice and neat for a 4 year old!! WAY TO GO KY!!