Thursday, April 9, 2009

Two years ago...



A little piece of me died.......Two years ago my world fell apart for a while....Two years ago I felt the worst pain ever.... Two years ago my baby girl went to heaven.....

Two years ago was the worst pain I have ever felt. I know you have all heard the story so I won't repeat it and I debated whether posting this or not because I didn't want people to think "Oh here we go again." But I need to post it for me. I need to mourn her this day. There is no way I could get through this day without thinking of her and I need to write my feelings out. If you don't want to read it then that is fine but I need to vent. This is the only picture I have of my baby girl and it is when she was still alive and well.

Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for the children we have and very grateful for Kamdyn and that we were able to have another baby after losing Lilly. But she was my child too and I REFUSE to forget her. I never held her but I felt her. She grew under my heart for 19 weeks and I loved her so much already. I know there is a plan and if i do everything I need to, I WILL see her again, but it seems like such a long time until I really get to meet her and get to know her.

I am going to the Bokay today and getting me some Lillies to honor her. Maybe I will post a picture of those later. I am trying to be strong today. You would think after two years it wouldn't hurt this bad still, but on certain days it does.

I am so thankful for those who have been here with me along the way when I needed someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on!!

4 comments:

McCreath's said...

You have every right to write this and grieve Misty! A baby is always a part of you know matter how far along they are! I am sending hugs your way on this very hard day for you! ((((HUGS))))!

Jen said...

You should always remember her. She was your baby. I'm sorry for you're pain, but I know you'll get to see her again.

Jodie said...

You should and will always remember her. And how wonderful it is to know that one day you will get to hold your daughter again.

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